I often wake up in a panic.
Especially as clients approach their due dates, and it’s my turn to be on call.
On this particular morning, I hear the familiar message “ping” and I jerk awake. There’s a text from my client Judy. She was having a few contractions yesterday, but they slowed down and eventually went away in the night.
I respond:
“I’m glad to hear you got some rest. Take it easy and let me know if you need anything. I am always here if you have questions or feel nervous. ”
I get up, shower, go about my morning routine of coffee (all the coffee!) and getting my kids ready for school. In the school dropoff line, I wonder whether I will get to tuck them into bed. A birth can mean I am away for 24+ hours, and the hardest part is always being away from my family.
I have a private childbirth education class to teach this morning. This particular class is being taught at my client’s home. I have a blast with the expectant couple and we share a lot of laughs while covering the material to prepare them for giving birth.
After my class, I head home and make a late lunch. The phone rings! Judy says she’s pretty sure it’s go time! She passes the phone to her partner, John, while she breathes her way through a contraction and John says he thinks we should meet at the hospital.
While I finish my lunch, I make childcare arrangements and prepare to be unavailable for the rest of the day, or longer.
I pack a bag of snacks, a battery pack for my phone and extra charger, deodorant, toothbrush, my water bottle, generally just personal care items. I know a lot of birth doulas have a big bag of tools, massage gadgets, rebozos, hot and cold packs, honey sticks, and essential oils, but I like to keep it simple. I bring the things I need to be comfortable, and I’m pretty much the Macgyver of birth comfort measures. I can fasten a rebozo out of a bed sheet and a hot or cold pack from a disposable underpad. My hands make the best massage tool around!
When I arrive at the hospital, Judy and John are being moved from triage—where it was confirmed that her water has broken and labor has begun—to a delivery room. Their midwife is on her way. We follow their nurse, Amy, to the room and I introduce myself along the way. Amy tells me she’s heard about Edmonton Area Family Doulas and has been looking forward to working with our team.
While John and Amy get Judy settled into bed, I step out to use the washroom, stopping into the kitchen to grab a water for her and some ice chips. When I get back to the delivery room, Amy is asking John and Judy lots of questions to get her chart started and the midwife has arrived.
Each time Judy begins a new rush, the room goes quiet. Judy leans into John and he holds her, shushing and telling her she’s doing a beautiful job.
After a particularly intense contraction, Judy’s midwife places external monitors around her belly. I put pillows around her and help her get comfortable. Her labor is progressing quickly and a few contractions go by within a short period. Between contractions, I suggest Judy empties her bladder, knowing that it might help things progress and that laboring on the toilet can be beneficial.
Feeling shy about her partner seeing her on the toilet, she asks that John wait outside the room. He welcomes the opportunity to make a trip to the bathroom himself and grab something to eat, knowing Judy is in good hands. The midwife brings me a birth ball and I sit in front of Judy. The contractions become more intense and she leans into me with each rush. I whisper encouraging words to her. The rushes get closer and more intense. Judy tells me she feels like she needs to have a bowel movement, so I call the nurse. It might be time to push.
Nurse Amy and the midwife suggest Judy come back to the bed for a cervix check and Judy consents. She’s 8 centimeters dilated. Previously composed and focused during rushes, Judy starts to tell us she can’t go on. She tells us she wants to go home and doesn’t want to have a baby any more. The birth team works together, we gather around her and remind her how strong she is. We tell her she can and is doing this! John looks worried and I reassure him that everything is normal and that many birthing people begin to feel this way when birth is imminent. This is that phase of labor we discussed during our private childbirth class a few weeks back: transition. He visibly relaxes.
As transition fades, I help Judy get into a position leaning over the bed. The head has been raised to accommodate her desire to push on all fours. She is able to be on her knees and lean over the back of the bed for support. I provide counter pressure during each contraction pushing against Judy’s sacrum. She finds it helpful. Her and John are face to face as he tells her how much he loves her, how proud he is of her, how strong she is. He holds a cloth on her forehead. Their connection is beautiful.
Eventually, Judy doesn’t want anyone to touch her and has decided to lie on her back. I reassure John again. Eventually, he and I support her legs while she pushes and she sleeps between rushes. The midwife and Amy ready the room for birth and put the external monitors back on so they can check on Judy’s baby. All is well.
It’s normal for first time birthing people to need up to two hours to push out their baby but in just a few pushes the midwife puts Judy’s baby onto her chest.
I’ve witnessed the miracle of birth many times, but it’s always incredible. The joy and relief are tangible. The love that circulates the room is almost visible. Tears and coos from the parents, cries from the new baby, cheering from the birth team, it’s an incredible moment. The beginning of a new life. The beginning of a new family.
Judy will spend the first hour after birth cuddling and kissing her baby. Her and John knew ahead of time that they might feel uncomfortable with vernix and other birth fluids on their baby so I grab a few warm towels and help Amy wipe baby down and then help Judy get her baby latched on for his first feeding. I stay to assist Judy to the washroom and shower, while her baby is weighed and measured, and given medications like vitamin K and erythromycin. These procedures are usually done an hour after birth allowing the family to get acquainted before they are separated momentarily. Once everyone is settled in, I can tell the family is ready to be alone. I congratulate them, hug them both tight and let them know they can call me if they need anything. We will meet later in the week for a follow-up visit. I thank Amy, the nurse, and the midwife and shake their hands (and more hugging ensues) before I head out the door.
It doesn't seem to matter how long or short a client’s labor is, I am always ravenous and exhausted after. I get into my car, surprised to see that it’s only 7 pm. I’ll get to tuck my kiddos into bed tonight!
I have a routine after births. I always stop at my one of my favorite restaurants and grab a bite to eat. I check my phone, catch up on any emails I have missed, and then just enjoy my food and reflect on the birth. As I drive home, that exhaustion sets in. A deep sense of gratitude for life washes over me, gratitude for the ability to do what I love, for the families who open up their lives to me and choose me and my team to support them through this monumental time in their lives.
My family is super excited to see me when I arrive, just in time for bedtime stories! I snuggle them just a little closer at story time, knowing I may be gone to another birth before they awake.
